A Big Thank You to Mike and Nora who hosted us for the draft! It was nice to meet some of yall in person.
The 2026 season has offically began. We are getting older but not wiser as this draft proved. Make sure to spend your $100 FAAB on the waiver wire. There are plenty of weak ass teams, so get out there and make trades.
The mexicans normally don’t trade mainlky because their offers are one-sided in their favor. The whites are more keen to trade. Good Luck everyone!
The quick verdict
Draft of the night: Bands Emeka Dance - the best blend of elite anchors, receiver depth, and late value.
Most dangerous build: Drunk in the strib club - a balanced roster that has the potential to be really scary as long as the WR’s hit and Skattebo quits doing backflips on streams.
Biggest reach: HOLY BOMAN EMPIRE taking Andrei Iosivas at pick 185 against a 298.8 consensus ADP. That is not a reach; that is a gap as wide as your gaping hole.
Final ranking
Final ranking metrics
| Rank |
Team |
Grade |
Avg. consensus ADP |
Avg. redraft rank |
ADP value / pick |
Roster (QB/RB/WR/TE) |
| 1 | Bands Emeka Dance | A | 97.8 | 91.8 | +4.6 | 1 / 5 / 10 / 1 |
|---|
| 2 | Drunk in the strib club | A | 101.2 | 99.2 | +1.6 | 2 / 6 / 6 / 3 |
|---|
| 3 | Miguel's Nasty Team | A- | 104.2 | 99.1 | -1.8 | 1 / 6 / 7 / 3 |
|---|
| 4 | Murk | A- | 106.8 | 104.6 | -4.1 | 2 / 6 / 8 / 1 |
|---|
| 5 | Mark and Mike Suck | B+ | 111.9 | 116.8 | -9.3 | 1 / 6 / 8 / 2 |
|---|
| 6 | Njigbas in Paris TX | B+ | 111.2 | 112.1 | -8.6 | 2 / 4 / 8 / 3 |
|---|
| 7 | No More Gibbsing Around | B | 113.6 | 109.3 | -11.4 | 2 / 6 / 7 / 2 |
|---|
| 8 | Bhayshul have my Golden Gibbs94 | B | 113.9 | 111.3 | -11.7 | 2 / 5 / 8 / 2 |
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| 9 | Little Bill | B- | 115.3 | 108.6 | -12.5 | 1 / 6 / 8 / 2 |
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| 10 | Reiging Defending Undisputed... | C+ | 119.1 | 118.0 | -16.8 | 2 / 6 / 7 / 2 |
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| 11 | Michael's Magnificent Team | C | 117.0 | 116.4 | -14.6 | 3 / 4 / 8 / 2 |
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| 12 | HOLY BOMAN EMPIRE | C- | 133.4 | 123.6 | -30.8 | 1 / 5 / 8 / 3 |
|---|
Team-by-team report
1. Bands Emeka Dance - A
AI’s Thoughts: Puka Nacua at 1.05 gave this team a clean elite-WR foundation, and the manager kept adding usable receivers without completely abandoning running back. Emeka Egbuka at pick 77 (38.7 ADP) and RJ Harvey at pick 125 (94.0 ADP) were the structural wins. The roster finished with ten wideouts.
My Thoughts You fucks stand no chance. I am open to all trades as usual
Best value: Baker Mayfield at 197 vs. 140.0 ADP (+57.0).
Biggest blemish: Caleb Douglas at 140 vs. 195.0 ADP (-55.0).
Roast: AI couldnt roast me, because it knows I should win this year. It’s over for you fuck boi bums.
2. Drunk in the strib club - A
AI’s Thoughts: Chase Brown and Derrick Henry opened the draft with a sturdy RB base, then the roster stayed balanced across six RBs, six WRs, three TEs, and two QBs. The eighth-round Chris Olave pick was the league’s loudest value swing: pick 85 for a 27.3 ADP player (+57.7). Trevor Lawrence at 109 (89.3 ADP) also gave the team a real QB ceiling without paying first-half pricing.
Human Thoughts: Welcome to the league new guy. You knew what you were doing, which is more than I can say for most of these bums. I wont say anything bad about you yet, because from seeing you in-person, it looks like a few drinks and a double leg takedown from you would turn off my lights. Good day sir.
Best value: Chris Olave at 85 vs. 27.3 ADP (+57.7). (Keeper)
Biggest blemish: Devaughn Vele at 180 vs. 225.4 ADP (-45.4).
AI Roast: The team name suggests poor decision-making, but the draft board says somebody was only drunk after pick 180.
3. Miguel’s Nasty Team - A-
AI’s Thoughts: Ja’Marr Chase plus Brock Bowers is a premium start, and the build added a strong third piece in Ladd McConkey before filling out RB. The late Colston Loveland pick at 124 against a 39.8 ADP (+84.2) was a true market robbery. The only reason this is not an A is that the middle rounds mixed several reaches with only one quarterback.
Human Thoughts: You’re RB’s are pure ass. We all sat around the table last night making fun of that stupid fucking Double TE strat you use every year. You could have laughed with us if you actually came down to draft.
Best value: Colston Loveland at 124 vs. 39.8 ADP (+84.2). (Keeper)
Biggest blemish: Antonio Williams at 165 vs. 226.6 ADP (-61.6).
AI Roast: Miguel drafted two premium tight ends and then acted like the league had outlawed the position starting in round 12. At least the flex options will be aggressively hydrated.
4. Murk - A-
AI’s Thoughts: Drake London, Saquon Barkley, and Breece Hall gave Murk a high-end three-player spine. Lamar Jackson and Tucker Kraft added correlated upside, and Travis Etienne at pick 111 versus a 41.5 ADP (+69.5) was the kind of late value that can erase a lot of ordinary picks. The weak spot is that the roster also paid pick 130 for Jaydon Blue against a 198.2 ADP (-68.2).
Human Thoughts: First, thank you for taking the time out of your busy day of grinding Delta Force to draft with us. Your aspirations to become #1 in the Delta Force Global League was the talk of the night at draft party. Hopefully you’re better at Delta Force than Fantasy Football.
Second, Thank god AI is still stupid as fuck. No way in Hell your Draft Grade is an A-. This shit is C+ or B- at best. May all of your rosters groins and hamstrings rip and tear this season.
Best value: Travis Etienne Jr. at 111 vs. 41.5 ADP (+69.5). (Keeper)
Biggest blemish: Jaydon Blue at 130 vs. 198.2 ADP (-68.2).
Roast: Murk found Etienne in the bargain bin and then immediately tried to pay retail for Jaydon Blue. The accounting department has questions.
5. Mark and Mike Suck - B+
AI’s Thoughts: Justin Jefferson, Omarion Hampton, Kyren Williams, and Rashee Rice is a very respectable first five. The team also waited on quarterback and still landed Justin Herbert at 127 against an 88.0 ADP (+39.0). It loses a little value by reaching for some mid-round receivers and by carrying only one QB, but the starting lineup has a strong weekly floor.
Human Thoughts: Every year after the draft your team always impresses me the most. But during the season it fizzles out into a dud. You may be the Dallas Cowboys of this league. You sniped me multiple times in this draft and I dont appreciate that. Trade me Omarion Hampton.
Best value: Justin Herbert at 127 vs. 88.0 ADP (+39.0).
Biggest blemish: Jahan Dotson at 199 vs. 264.3 ADP (-65.3).
AI Roast: The name says Mark and Mike Suck; the first five picks say the two of them briefly hired a competent consultant.
6. Njigbas in Paris TX - B+
AI’s Thoughts: De’Von Achane at 1.09, George Pickens, Davante Adams, and Jaxon Smith-Njigba create a high-ceiling core. JSN at pick 40 versus a 5.8 ADP (+34.2) is a massive value if the room’s ranking gap is real. Brock Purdy at 177 against a 104.0 ADP (+73.0) repaired some of the reachier middle rounds, although the team is thin at RB with only four backs.
Human Thoughts: Its going to get a little spooky relying on TreVeyon as your RB2 and Kenneth Gainwell/Mark Andrews as your Flex. This is the year you will need to make a trade. Your hottest commodity is Jorge Pickens, Im sure Dru would offer naming rights to his first born for him.
Best value: Brock Purdy at 177 vs. 104.0 ADP (+73.0).
Biggest blemish: Tyquan Thornton at 201 vs. 245.0 ADP (-44.0).
AI Roast: Njigbas in Paris TX drafted like the receiver room was a buy-one-get-seven sale. The RB room, meanwhile, is checking the couch cushions.
7. No More Gibbsing Around - B
AI’s Thoughts: Bijan Robinson at 1.01 is a sensible anchor, and the fourth-round Kenneth Walker pick at 48 versus a 16.8 ADP (+31.2) was the team’s signature bargain. Tyler Warren and Caleb Williams gave the build upside, but the early WR choices were expensive and the middle rounds created several negative-value picks.
Human Thoughts: You cheeky cunt taking Bijan over Gibbs. I appreciated the ill-intentions when drafting him..Fuck Bradley. That WR Core is atrocious. As a Panthers I could never take Tet in the 2nd round, late 3rd or 4th round only. I’ve got WR’s for the right price. Let’s get a deal done.
Best value: Kenneth Walker III at 48 vs. 16.8 ADP (+31.2). (Keeper)
Biggest blemish: Darius Slayton at 193 vs. 280.8 ADP (-87.8).
AI Roast: The team name promises no Gibbsing, but the draft still spent the entire night Gibbsing over whether every late pick needed to be a receiver.
8. Bhayshul have my Golden Gibbs94 - B
AI’s Thoughts: Jahmyr Gibbs at 1.02, DeVonta Smith, Garrett Wilson, David Montgomery, and Jalen Hurts is a strong nucleus. Bhayshul Tuten at pick 146 against a 55.3 ADP (+90.7) was the best pure value pick on the roster. The grade is held down by a run of reaches in rounds 5-11, especially Tank Dell at 119 against a 178.3 ADP (-59.3).
Human Thoughts: Solid Draft. I like your Draft more than Murk’s which the AI gave an A. You’re starting lineup will have a consistent floor but the ceiling is capped. Your bench is weak which is uncommon for you.
Best value: Bhayshul Tuten at 146 vs. 55.3 ADP (+90.7). (Keeper)
Biggest blemish: Tank Dell at 119 vs. 178.3 ADP (-59.3).
AI Roast: The team acquired both Gibbs energy and Golden Gibbs branding, then spent seven rounds proving that a good team name cannot cover every reach.
9. Little Bill - B-
AI’s Thoughts: Ashton Jeanty, Jeremiyah Love, Tee Higgins, Jameson Williams, and Marvin Harrison Jr. is a fun upside-heavy opening. Harold Fannin Jr. at pick 179 versus a 77.5 ADP (+101.5) was the draft’s biggest bargain. The problem is that the roster gave back too much of that value with Deebo Samuel at pick 86 against a 129.5 ADP and Calvin Ridley at 134 against a 216.2 ADP (-82.2).
Human Thoughts: This team screams Please god, live up to the hype. All of these players are question marks or old. We may have to post League Manager openings if you have a bad performance for the 3rd straight season.
Best value: Harold Fannin Jr. at 179 vs. 77.5 ADP (+101.5). (Keeper)
Biggest blemish: Calvin Ridley at 134 vs. 216.2 ADP (-82.2).
AI Roast: Little Bill found a top-80 tight end in round 15 and still managed to make the spreadsheet look like it owed the league money.
10. Reiging Defending Undisputed… - C+
AI’s Thoughts: Christian McCaffrey, Nico Collins, Jonathan Taylor, and Bucky Irving is a legitimately strong first four. Jayden Daniels, George Kittle, and T.J. Hockenson give the team enough ceiling to make noise. The trouble is the cost of the surrounding depth: Khalil Shakir at 94 against a 131.2 ADP and Hockenson at 118 against a 164.2 ADP were meaningful reaches.
Human Thoughts: Thank you for taking CMC, so I didn’t have to. The substation and injury rituals that team is performing is illuminati level. This draft you executed last seasons Fantasy industry league winning strategy to perfection.. CMC/JT.
I will not hate or give any advice to someone who drafted Joe Burrow in the 2nd round last year and still managed to win it all.
Best value: Patrick Mahomes at 147 vs. 108.5 ADP (+38.5).
Biggest blemish: Xavier Legette at 195 vs. 272.5 ADP (-77.5).
AI Roast: The defending-undisputed part of the name is doing a lot of work for a roster whose bench occasionally drafted like it was defending a parking spot.
11. Michael’s Magnificent Team - C
AI’s Thoughts: Amon-Ra St. Brown, A.J. Brown, Josh Allen, Rome Odunze, and Kyle Pitts is a strong top end. Matthew Stafford at pick 187 versus a 106.7 ADP (+80.3) was an excellent late quarterback value. But the team paid up for depth at several points, including Jerry Jeudy at 115 against a 186.2 ADP (-71.2), and the three-QB build used a roster spot that could have supported more RB insulation.
Human Thoughts: This team of Brown’s is a little darker than you’re accustomed to, but it does not reflect who you really are.
Definitely the weakest RB room in the league. Hop on that phone and trade away some of the WR depth.
Best value: Matthew Stafford at 187 vs. 106.7 ADP (+80.3).
Biggest blemish: Jerry Jeudy at 115 vs. 186.2 ADP (-71.2).
AI Roast: The team is magnificent at quarterback. Unfortunately, fantasy lineups generally only require one starter, so this is a little like drafting three landlords for one apartment.
12. HOLY BOMAN EMPIRE - C-
AI’s Thoughts: CeeDee Lamb, Trey McBride, James Cook, Josh Jacobs, and Chuba Hubbard give the roster a usable top five, and James Cook at pick 32 versus a 10.2 ADP (+21.8) was an excellent discount. The grade falls because the team repeatedly paid above market in the middle and late rounds, most notably Bo Nix at 65 versus 113.5 ADP and Andrei Iosivas at 185 versus 298.8 ADP (-113.8).
Human Thoughts: Our leagues yearly Make-A-Wish participant had a draft. Keep your head up things could be worse, you could actually be a make-a-wish kid. You executed Miguels Double TE to perfection (trash). You have more injured players than healthy ones. If your mother wasn’t there last night we would have kicked you out of your own house.
Best value: James Cook III at 32 vs. 10.2 ADP (+21.8).
Biggest blemish: Andrei Iosivas at 185 vs. 298.8 ADP (-113.8).
AI Roast: This was less a holy empire and more a holy reach. The roster has stars, but the bench looks like it was assembled by throwing darts at a depth chart from across the room.
League-wide statistical notes
- Market behavior: The average pick came 9.6 spots earlier than consensus ADP and 6.7 spots earlier than the attached redraft ranking. In other words, managers were willing to pay for conviction, scarcity, and upside rather than simply following the sheet.
- Largest ADP reaches: Andrei Iosivas (-113.8), Jalen Tolbert (-91.0), Darius Slayton (-87.8), Calvin Ridley (-82.2), and Jerry Jeudy (-71.2).
- Best bargain clusters: Bands Emeka Dance had nine positive-ADP picks; Drunk in the strib club and Murk each had nine as well. Those teams were not merely lucky once, they consistently found playable names after the market expected them to go.
